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When my four children were young and my daughter was less than two years away from leaving home for college, we decided to read the entire Bible as a family. Picture it: our fifteen-year-old daughter and our sons, ages ten, nine, and four, and sometimes a dog or two, piling into Mom and Dad’s bed each night to take turns reading verses of the Bible together and to pray. It sounds picturesque, right?
Here’s the reality: the four-year-old was a beginning reader. The Bible is not written at a beginner’s reading level, so listening to him read was painful. The teenage daughter was not always happy to be in close quarters with her stinky, noisy brothers, and she did not always “like” her parents. The nine- and ten-year-old boys, though, might have been the most challenging, and here’s why.
Have you read the Bible from cover to cover? If not, I highly recommend it. If you choose to read it with little boys, I also highly recommend you prepare yourself for in-depth discussions like this:
“Mom, what’s a ‘eunuch’?”
“Umm, well, it’s a man the Pharaoh chose to guard his harem.”
“What’s a ‘harem’?”
“Hmm, it’s the big group of women Pharaoh chose to be his wives.”
“Why did Pharaoh choose a eunuch to guard the women?”
“The eunuch was not attracted to the women, so the Pharaoh trusted him.”
“But why?”
“Okay, here’s the story. The eunuchs had certain body parts removed so they couldn’t feel physically attracted to the women.”
“But mom, which body p . . .”
“Ask your father!”
This is just one of many, many examples. There were other giggle-inducing discussions, such as about the woman with the bleeding disorder who touched the hem of Jesus’ garment and was healed. There were discussions about the “clean” vs. “unclean” rules of Judaism regarding women and men. There were more disturbing stories that, thankfully, the Holy Spirit allowed us to read without questions from the boys.
There were brutally long readings of Numbers and Deuteronomy, during which we decided we would read two chapters from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament each night, just to keep it interesting.
Do I regret these times? Not even for one second. We read together at night before bed, in the car on long road trips, and even in the living room with the kids’ friends. There were boring passages and embarrassing discussions. There were prayer times during which my youngest spent the entire time trying to get the dog to close his eyes. Most of all, there was great family time and learning about God, His Son, and the Holy Spirit. I highly recommend it. Just practice keeping a straight face first. You’re going to need it. And while you’re at it, maybe brush up on ancient customs, anatomy, and a whole lot of creative ways to say, “Ask your father!”